It is very natural to feel pleased when we pass an examination, sing a beautiful song, design a marvellous structure or win a game. If someone appreciates our work, then there is a sense of pride. This is normal. It is quite natural to feel proud when a few or many people like our work. We may even want to improve our skill and learn more from others because we want to do something that we love doing in a better way. However, it becomes a problem when we are continuously struggling and competing in order to achieve popularity and recognition. Then the passion is not for the work but for achieving fame.

THE ‘I’ FACTOR

When we do things in a particular way or according to an idea or formula, then we do things mechanically. It becomes our style, which is the ‘ego.’ Following any particular style creates ego because there is a sense of pride that ‘I do it this way,’ or, ‘I am this.’ When we follow humility as an ideal, then there is ego. When we try to be humble, there’s actually no humility, there is self-importance. There is a sense of pride that ‘I am a humble guy.’ We tell others that we are a particular kind of person. So, this style or personality, which is created by knowledge, is ego. This personality becomes very important to us because it gives us recognition. This means that the action within the pattern becomes very important to us and not what the circumstances require. There is real humility only when there is no style or pattern, because then there is no self-importance and one does what is necessary.

We have knowledge about various things in the area of technology and other fields too. Such knowledge is not in question because that is necessary for living. But it is the psychological knowledge of concepts and ideals that is in question. Psychological knowledge guides our future actions to attain a psychological goal. It is sometimes referred to as ‘accumulated knowledge.’

The moment there is accumulation of knowledge, there is also the desire to achieve an end, because without a goal why would we act according to particular knowledge. Therefore, the moment there is accumulation, there is a goal. Also, whenever there is a goal, we try to find a method to reach that goal, and then this method becomes accumulated knowledge. So, whenever there is accumulation, there is a goal. And whenever there is a goal, there is accumulation.

END OF EGO

When the brain is free from all ideals, concepts and formulae, there is no ego. We do not act in a particular way and there’s no particular style or personality. It becomes difficult to say ‘I am this or that person’ or ‘I act this way or that way.’ There is no style and we are nobody. So, when accumulated knowledge ends, which is the end of ‘I’ or the ego, then the person is nobody, because he is new from moment to moment. But if we have a particular concept of nobody in our brain and make efforts to be nobody, then we are already following a pattern to be nobody. This pattern makes us somebody, and there is again a sense of pride that ‘I am nobody.’ So, the following of a particular pattern becomes our personality, which is the ego.

NEED VERSUS STYLE

We need the knowledge to attain physical goals. But this knowledge does not create any particular style of living, as long as we use that knowledge only when necessary and not monotonously. So, if we are acting within a particular field only when necessary, and not thoughtlessly, then it does not become our style. This is because we are not acting in a monotonous manner. When something is done thoughtlessly, over and over again, without any necessity, but according to a concept, then it becomes our style. Waking up early every day, doing exercises and following a healthy routine to keep fit do not become particular styles because these practices are needed for a healthy body and are part of healthy living. They are not done thoughtlessly and unnecessarily. We may follow this routine only till it is useful and there is flexibility to skip the routine to accommodate something that is more urgent. But when there is style, then there is no flexibility; there is rigidity unless some exceptional circumstance frees the brain.

Let us take another example. We need a house to live in and we plan to purchase one. Eventually, we buy a house. But getting a house for our need does not become our style of living because we stop the moment this need is satisfied. However, if we start accumulating property even though we have enough, then it becomes our style, personality or trademark. We are known as that individual who accumulates properties. In the first scenario, there is no style, but there is a need. And we stop when the need is satisfied. But in the second case, we do not stop even though the need is satisfied. This becomes our style, which is the ego. We feel proud of our style and look up to individuals who are ahead of us in the wealth race and look down upon those who are behind in this regard. Also, there are several examples of various idealists who want to resolve problems according to their ideologies and ideals, and are not flexible enough to tackle things differently even if it is necessary.

IN PURSUIT OF GREATNESS

Most of us want to be called great, whether it is being a great politician, a great religious personality, a great player, a great this, a great that, and so on. Such a desire for recognition creates unnecessary comparisons and competition with others because we have to constantly maintain our reputation and fame. We want recognition and fame and there is very little love for the thing that we are doing. If a player wins a competition through corrupt means to achieve fame and popularity, then is he a great player? There are umpteen examples of great people in society and we want to like them. It seems easier to gain respect and recognition because all we need to do is follow the pattern already set by the society, community or group. But at times, it might be necessary to stand up against the culture even if it means gaining no recognition at all. However, there are also people who unnecessarily stand up against society because they feel that they are doing something brave, which will give them fame. So, they follow another pattern and this becomes their style. Whatever we do has very little meaning without the feelings of love and compassion.

Now, when we are trying to prove that we are great, then it becomes necessary for others to be mediocre or on a much lower level. If everyone is at the same level, then no one is great. The term ‘great’ exists only in comparison with the term ‘mediocre.’ A person who is trying to be great is always competing with others. She does not want others to rise to her level; in fact, she gets hurt when others rise above her. So, we can see that there is much arrogance involved when someone is trying to prove himself or herself great because he or she is constantly trying to defeat others in various fields.

A person who is trying to prove himself or herself great is doing so because there is an emptiness deep within. It is important to discover the cause of this emptiness or loneliness (this is discussed in detail in Chapter 3 on relationship and Chapter 6 on desire). He or she is actually a very mediocre person. Perhaps we do not want to look at it this way. But it is a fact that he or she is actually seeking attention, which can give him or her a sense of importance. A happy person does not depend on fame, recognition or attention for fulfillment.

FREEDOM FROM EGO

Now, “the question that arises here is” what is wrong with the ego or why should we free ourselves from this ego? The simple reason is that, as long as there is ego, there will be hurt, anger, jealousy and envy. This ego keeps getting wounded. Even small things like someone praising or appreciating another person can hurt us. We may also get hurt if someone teases us for fun, using a name which we think degrades our personality. When we are hurt in this manner, then we try to hurt the other person or we try to avoid the person so that he or she cannot hurt us again. All this prevents actual relationship and communion with others, because we keep getting hurt and causing hurt to each other.

It is necessary to stay with the problem of hurt. When we eventually discover that the root cause of any psychological hurt is the self (me or the ego), then there is freedom from this pain.

For a deeper exploration of this subtle topic, you may wish to continue with a few related chapters. In the chapter on Relationship, we see how ego underlies many of the psychological challenges that arise in our interactions with others. The chapter on Hurt (Image, Hurt, and Forgiveness) uncovers the root of psychological hurt, revealing that the very sense of ‘me’ is the root cause of the hurt itself. And in chapter on Desire (Desire, Pleasure, and Pain), we explore how desire both feeds the ego and is itself fueled by the emptiness that ego creates. Reading these chapters in the natural sequence of the book may offer a deeper understanding of ego and its patterns, guiding the reader toward the possibility of complete freedom from ego.