The body has its natural demands and urges. We cannot be without biological urges unless there is something seriously wrong with the body. When we put a permanent lid on any of our natural desires or take a vow to do or not do a certain thing, then it causes havoc and creates needless conflicts in our lives. But this does not mean that every time a desire arises, we must yield to it. There is a desire to eat when one is hungry or take rest when the body is tired. We may want to meet a friend or family, go out for a walk, play football, or keep the house clean. All this is natural.

So, to say that we can free ourselves from all desires would be hypocritical. It is practically impossible to be free of desire unless one is dead or in a coma. Moreover, if we suppress our desires, there is still a desire to be free from desire.

Some people say that we should only pursue things that are necessary for our survival and not strive for comfort and luxury. But the question is, what is wrong with luxury? If someone wants to have a comfortable bed or a comfortable car, then what is wrong with it, if he can afford it? Moreover, luxury is a relative concept. What is luxury for one person, may be an absolute necessity for another person, depending on his physical condition and circumstances. A comfortable bed may be a luxury for one person, but it might be an absolute necessity for another person. It is healthy to wear clean clothes, keep our house clean, and eat healthy food. A person may decorate her room to make it look good, if she can afford it. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with this. However, if a person cannot afford something, then she has to work hard and earn money for comforts. If this involves too much hard work, then she may have to balance her expenditures intelligently and assess whether the things she wants are worth the hard work or not. So, one has to act according his or her intelligence and not have preconceived ideas on what is right, wrong, good or bad.

Most religions of the world have condemned pleasure. Some religious men have even said that one must refrain from pleasure and not get involved in anything that gives pleasure, in order to lead a religious life. But what is wrong with enjoying the beauty of nature and the songs of birds? What is wrong in looking at a beautiful face or the smile of a boy or a girl?

Now, there might be pain in the pursuit of pleasure. The pleasure itself may not cause pain, but there could be some pain during the process of achieving pleasure (this is discussed later in the chapter). Perhaps due to this pain, advocates and preachers of various religions have probably tried to convince people to stay away from pleasure altogether.

Pleasure versus Natural Desire

People desire things and pursue them, even without a biological or physical urge. They seek something because it has given them joy previously. It is a desire of the mind based on previous sensations. We may want to see a person we like, a mountain or the sea. All this is natural. However, if we want something just because of a previous joy or sensation, and it is not something we actually want, desire or feel for, then it is not a natural desire. It is something which the mind thinks will give joy or happiness. It is based on the previous sensation alone and is not a biological urge. But if the desire is based on a biological urge, then it is a natural desire. It is an actual want and not a want created by mere thought that is seeking pleasure.

For instance, a person does not have any biological urge to eat anything in the present. But he remembers how good a particular food had tasted in the past and wants to eat it again. Then this is just a psychological desire. A person who is healthy and physically fit tries to become bigger and more muscular because he wants to compete with his friends and desires recognition for his muscles is craving unnecessarily. It is natural for someone who is unhealthy or not very healthy to try and become healthier and fit. However, if one is already healthy, fit and happy with his body but still wants to be bigger only to compete with his friend, then it is merely a psychological need.

There is pleasure in achieving difficult tasks or becoming a great personality or a religious head. There is the pursuit of pleasure in following various ideals, beliefs and ideologies, because there is a hope that following these will bring happiness or make our lives better. Then the brain is in conflict when it follows these ideals, beliefs and ideologies. This conflict occurs because we want to do something, but our ideals want us to do something else. Our natural desires are in conflict with our ideals and vice versa. So, either we resist our natural desires or our ideals. This conflict brings unnecessary suffering.

When there is the pursuit of pleasure, then there is no harmony between the mind and the senses. The mind dominates the other senses. The mind is also one of the senses, but when the mind dominates the other senses, then there is an unnecessary pursuit of various things that bring imbalance in our lives.

It is very natural for us to want a pleasant atmosphere in meetings and gatherings. We do not want unnecessary noise or a disturbing atmosphere. We want to be around people who are pleasant. If we are sensitive, we are likely to be affected by unpleasant gestures and words. It is very normal for people to avoid those who are harsh and quarrel unnecessarily all the time for their own entertainment. There are people who enjoy annoying and disturbing others, and it is sometimes wise to avoid them. Although it is natural to want a pleasant atmosphere, it becomes a psychological need when one is not satisfied with the nice atmosphere and wants to have recognition, fame and honour from others. When we compete with others in order to achieve fame, recognition and respect, then it brings needless struggles in our lives.

Let us look at an example. Say we live in a building with several flats and we play loud music at night. We are unaware that this is causing unnecessary nuisance to our neighbours. When the neighbours meet us in the hallway, they may look at us with anger or disgust and they may make rude gestures at us. If we are sensitive, then we may not have a very good feeling when we are looked at in this manner. However, though we may have been unaware in the past, the crisis with our neighbours may awaken our awareness. And if we are sensitive to the situation, we may try to correct ourselves and avoid being a nuisance. We will strive to be a better neighbour. This consideration from us may please our neighbours and there may be a better atmosphere between us. All this is possible when we are sensitive not only towards our needs but also towards everything around us, including gestures, looks, atmosphere and the lives of others. This kind of desire to avoid hurt from others and create a nicer atmosphere is natural and not a psychological desire. However, this does not mean that we should try and please everyone, including criminals and anti-social elements, and help them with their anti-social activities so that they may look at us nicely. When the intelligence is operating, then it will tell us what to do and what not to do.

Psychological Needs and Suffering

There is tremendous struggle, pain and wastage of energy in pursuing our psychological needs. A person who is ambitious and is seeking pleasure is always discontented because he does not have something that he feels he should have. And he feels that way constantly because he is always competing. When there is tremendous struggle in a certain direction, there is a continuous wastage of energy. In order to attain unnecessary goals, a person compromises with his natural desires, relationships and family. There may be an effort in the pursuit of basic needs but the pursuit or effort is natural. The struggle stops the moment our needs are satisfied, and it is not a constant battle. So, there is this balance between effort and rest.

When the mind seeks experiences that have given us delight in the past and tries to attain similar joy or reach the same state of mind, then there is only disappointment and frustration. This is because we do not experience the same kind of delight when we repeat the thing. Moreover, the mind is not in a position to experience anything new because its approach is from the memory, which is old. And finally, in becoming something, there is unnecessary fear of failure or anxiety of not achieving what we want. Therefore, the activity of the ‘me’ only leads to sorrow, misery and loneliness.

There is imbalance in our lives when we give importance to a very small part of life and ignore the other important aspects of life. What is actually important is the whole of life and this includes the little parts as well. Obviously, we must do what we love to do, but there is no struggle for name and fame here. The problem begins when we start pursuing our psychological needs. In the endless pursuit of name and fame, the activity is reduced to a very limited field. People who want to achieve success in life generally dissociate themselves from so many important aspects of life. This isolation brings tremendous loneliness in their lives. It is necessary to attend to our physical needs and, in the present society, it may necessary to work a job for a living. Such jobs often mean devoting most of our time to one thing and can also lead to some isolation. So one needs to be careful in balancing the important things in life.

A person worked as a very senior manager in a big company. Like with most people in most jobs in most organisations, he had to work long hours. He had given much of his time to working for the company. After completing his tenure, when he retired from the company, though he had enough money, there was also some loneliness in him. He tried to escape from his loneliness by inviting people to his house all the time for tea and unnecessary gossip. But, after a few years, he was tired of this kind of life and wanted to go back to the life in office, to which he was attached. Though he was financially very well off, he joined another company, doing a job similar to his previous one. However, after a few months, he had to quit due to old age and health. So, the point is that we keep running away from loneliness through one escape route or the other.

Psychological Pleasure and Destruction of Security

The psychological demand for pleasure may give some temporary satisfaction, but it destroys our actual security. When we associate ourselves with a big country and we are united by the ideal of nationalism and feel superior compared to other nationals, then we may feel a sense of pride and security. But this nationalism also causes divisions with other nationals and is one of the major causes of wars. Similarly, when we accumulate property and things unnecessarily to get prestige, name and fame, it causes economic problems. It increases violence and people have to fight for the basic necessities. When we act according to the concepts and values that we have acquired, it creates a certain personality, which is the ego. When we act according to the personality that we have created, we may feed our vanity. But this ego is the root cause of our psychological problems and is one of the major causes of conflict in the world.

We can see that many politicians and people who crave for power are only interested in their theories and ideologies and not in the lives of human beings. Their theories and revolutions cause so much chaos and impact the lives of so many people. But most of them are either superficially concerned about these things or are not really bothered about them. They may pretend to be concerned about the lives of their citizens, but what really matters to them the most is their pleasure. They derive pleasure from the recognition, respect and importance given to them. They revel in the fact that many people are following them and are ready to die for them.

Freedom from Desire

The psychological desires for recognition, fame and power do not have to be suppressed. But it is necessary to stay with these desires and understand them. In staying with the desire, there is self-knowing and understanding of ourselves. When we see the root cause of this desire, conflict and struggle, there is freedom from the desire. And then there is beauty and joy.

When we become insensitive towards the things around us, then we run after power, money and recognition. People who crave power and recognition are generally lonely and miserable. To cover their loneliness, they desire fame and want to be liked and honoured by the public. A person who is happy does not need to struggle for power or other things. When we discover the root cause of the desire, then there is freedom from the desire.

Now, another question that may arise here is this: is there a goal to be free from desire when there is an urge to understand it? If a person investigates the desire with an aim of freeing himself from the desire, then the whole investigation becomes very biased. This is because he is bound to examine things in the direction that he thinks will ultimately free him and ignore the area that he thinks will never let him become free. This may give very limited understanding. However, when there is no goal, method or effort to move away from the problem, then there is passive awareness, in which the examination is not directed towards a particular end. There is a sincere examination of the desire at a deeper level, which gives impartial understanding and freedom from the desire.

Loneliness forces us to look for an escape. Consequently, we start running after something or desire something that has nothing to do with our physical appetite or actual needs. But it is important to see that moving from one desire to another will not free us from the pains of loneliness. It can only give us temporary freedom from the problem of loneliness. The action of the self, me or ego causes isolation and loneliness. Any action that is based on an idea, knowledge or conclusion is an action of the ‘self,’ which gives importance to a particular fragment. So, when we decide and choose to run after various things to escape from our loneliness, then it is still an action of the ‘self.’ This causes further loneliness. When one observes that the self is causing loneliness, that the loneliness is forcing us to choose and pursue one thing or the other, and that this pursuit itself is an action of the ‘self ’ causing further loneliness, then this observation gives freedom from the self, loneliness and desire.

When ideas, concepts and formulae dictate our goals and desires, then the goal is something that is already fixed by the mind. Though natural urges, circumstances and other factors may point towards an urgency to change the goal, there is hardly any harmony between the mind, senses and the heart. In fact, there is conflict between them. However, when there is no self, then there is a harmony between the senses, mind and heart. In this harmony, the goal is not something that is fixed but it is a living thing. It keeps changing, depending on what the situation demands. So, though the action may be planned, there may be constant modifications, according to changing pressures and circumstances. Therefore, if we want to live peacefully within ourselves and with the world, it is necessary to doubt the values and traditions that have caused so much destruction and disintegration in our society.

Some people are constantly running after something because they want to move away from their day-to-day problems and conflicts in relationships (with their family and friends). In pursuing several goals, their minds forget about daily worries. This is another way of drugging the mind. So, they accept their life of unending struggle and pain in order to escape from their daily worries. However, if a person can stay with the worries (which could be some family issue or some other issue) and understand them, then he might be able to free himself from the worries and live a happy life. In such a case, there is no need for an escape. Choosing a life of ambition, greed and struggle is not the solution because it brings its own pains and the problem remains unresolved.

Now, a lot of times, ambitious or materialistic people get fed up with the constant struggle in trying to accumulate things and property for name, fame and respect, because there is no happiness in this pursuit. So, they start searching for knowledge and peace. But the truth is they are still ambitious as they try to find peace in various systems, ideologies and theories. The only difference probably is that earlier they were pursuing property and name and now they are pursuing peace, knowledge and methods.

Moreover, knowledge is also matter that the brain cells hold on to. When the cells accumulate knowledge, they are still being materialistic. Desire for material things is necessary and natural to an extent, but when we unnecessarily run after material things, it becomes a pursuit of pleasure. For instance, though religious people want to curb their natural desires, they desire for other things. This means there is still desire in them. They renounce worldly materials but hold on to other principles and ideologies in order to attain peace, happiness and inner development. So, there is a different kind of struggle to gain various things and resist natural desires in the search for pleasure.